What Are Some Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends?

Photo by Timon Studler on Unsplash

Our friends are some of the most important assets in our lives. They go above and beyond just to help someone in need. You can make a big difference by sending incredibly funny jokes to your friends and loved ones to make them smile and happy. When you noticed that one of your friends at school or a colleague at work is feeling sad, you can say some of these good funny messages to them and make them happy.

Below are some super funny jokes written specifically for friends and loved ones. Some are shorter and would work well in text/SMS, while others are longer and would be more appropriate for Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, Instagram, and any other social media sites.

50 Super Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends

1. Wow! Your facemask is gigantic and looks like an umbrella. Nevertheless it could be useful during the rainy season.

2. Come on friend, since you always say that you will be there for me no matter what, I hope you don’t mind standing as collateral for the mortgage loan I wanted to collect.

3. I stopped my daughter from eating in someone’s home, funny enough, when I queried her yesterday to see level of compliance, he replied me that he had been complying ever since but just today she found that her friend’s mom cooks better than me.

4. All men are millionaires, at least by sperm count. The funniest thing, they spend these millions trying to please women.

5. But wait; is it possible for people to perceive my foot odour while my shoes are on?

6. I know that I’m very ugly, therefore, I don’t propose to the most beautiful girl ever but I always go for the ugliest girl in the world.

7. To catch a monkey, do like a banana but not monkey.

8. The presidential jet disappears through the nose. How on earth do they allow such to happen?

9. A teenager sold his mind in exchange for an E-pad.

10. To play safe is to adopt the ABC approach. “A” stands for abstinence, “B” stands for Be faithful, and “C” stands for condom.

Photo by Joel & Jasmin Førestbird on Unsplash

11. Why are you sleeping with an eye open and with a hammer by your side?

12. Although I am a leader of leaders, I don’t have the time for the masses now because I am still attending to congratulatory messages from my political associates.

13. Stop crying woman, don’t you know that some spirits in army uniform took your husband away.

14. Never call my line again. I usually perceive your mouth odour on phone.

15. Funny enough, he got his pay check and celebrated the success made before he was slapped from cashing out the money for breaking the rules of the game.

16. You’re not in government; as a result, you have no idea how much oil money is thicker than your saliva.

17. The whole world is in recession at the moment, therefore, we don’t need a zoologist at this incredibly difficult time but an economist to bail us out.

18. Who donated the sperm that impregnated your mom?

19. His misdeeds while in office are catching up with him.

20. For looting one billion dollars, there’s no law binding on you regarding your criminal behaviour, therefore all on-going and pending criminal charges are hereby dropped. As for you that stole a pen, you’ll be remanded in prison till further notice.

21. Give them your lunch pack and you’ll possibly qualify for good marks in high school.

22. I was fined for driving against the flow of traffic after telling the law enforcement agent that I did so because I was late for work.

23. Thanks! I was discharged from the hospital this morning for overeating.

24. “Always use the ones that have silicon lubricant, as the gel makes it less likely to tear during ….” I have found an alternative, a condom made of elephant skin.

25. Funny enough, he told us that he was treated for overeating at the intensive care unit. But I just couldn't get it why his belly is still as big as someone carrying 8 months twin pregnancy belly.

26. There’s joy in it, but you can’t get that joy in it until you know how to get the joy in it.

27. If a particular position makes you feel unease, then you need to ease into that position which makes you feel at ease.

28. I asked her, why are you a vegetarian? She replied “all the foods I used to eat were making me feel so heavy and sluggish.”

29. Do you know what? The most difficult tasks in one’s life are the ones someone else finds extremely easy.

30. A footballer who doesn’t start his career at the street competition through the local league and up to professional level cannot be called a successful footballer.

31. Come on stop that mess, lack of schooling is not a good excuse for not getting an education.

32. When last did you say goodbye to poverty and lay to rest unemployment?

33. I hope all the life-long lessons that I taught you have been stampeded into your brain!

34. Stop dismantling and bad mouthing the deed that had been done.

35. We have so many teenagers socializing on Facebook, Instagram, and other social networking sites, and more importantly, they’re ever ready to spend more time playing Farm-Ville. But ask them to join the wagon in keeping the environment safe by planting trees, believe me that you’ll never see them again.

36. Wow! You got this absolutely right! Better don’t stop pushing forward, remember your rivals are already angry!

37. Talking to myself does not mean that I am crazy. It’s my own meditation and talking therapy. Would you mind to join my class?

38. We can use her brassiere to make a giant double barrel catapult.

39. You must make these children grow fat within the next 60 days otherwise I’ll take them away from home.

40. Look! Stop that joke, I know it’s not in your character to resist a bribe.

41. You never answer a call that comes from where you did something wrong, why?

42. The reason for asking about your look was because I didn’t want us to go out and come back without an offer.

43. Before telling you what I saw yesterday, I would like to know your age.

44. I heard it that your grandfather was angry with you for accepting one cent from a stranger.

45. I spent 24 hours under her bed but she didn’t show up in her room.

46. My mom used to add fertilizer to my food just because she wanted to see me grow fat.

47. He knows that tea without bread is better than nothing.

48. He is the same man that brought roasted chicken for me twice just to have me to love him.

49. Men are like monkeys, women are like bananas. Monkey eats from one banana to another.

50.  Health-wise, there’s nothing wrong with your sister; I guess she is just feeling sleepy and tired because men are no longer eager to waste their money on girls as a result of the current recession.